But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
