dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
