Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
