That's intense
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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