3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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