Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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