New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Sorry about my life...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
