shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
