I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
