5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
