HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
