My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
