MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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