I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
this is an emotional support booty call
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
