I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Randomize
