The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
