Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize