Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
