This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
