Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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