Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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