I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
