I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
