it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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