I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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