That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
