honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
