is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think your dad took our porno
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
