Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
