Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
