nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
