dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
