I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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