new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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