somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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