so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
