Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
