just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
