I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come share oat with me in your robe
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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