Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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