there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
