Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
