Do vagina's smell?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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