So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
