I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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