That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i already hear my dad disowning me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
