i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
