Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
