i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
