Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize