I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
