I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
40s are totally the cure
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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