FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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