non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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