I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
