Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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