Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
