Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
