marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
