if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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