Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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