BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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